Rambo's Daily Dogma - by Rambo Fuhrman

Rudolph, I have your back!

We all know that Rudolph is the point person for inclement weather on Christmas Eve, but just in case he ever feels a little under the weather, I wanted to do some basic preparations. I figure since Rudolph got some razzing for having a red nose, you can imagine what they would do if I showed up without any antlers! So I have been practicing prancing and leaping and flying through the air with these antlers. I must say it isn't as easy at it looks.

Of course, I still have to practice outside - in real weather- and I'm not sure if it's cool to wear my Christmas sweater or not. I don't think any of the other reindeer wore outdoor gear. Get these reindeer to a Pantagonia or the like, really guys - it's cold on Christmas Eve... and we're talking flying around the world!

I want to follow the spirit of the holiday and be ready and willing to step in if need be, but I think we need to be realistic and talk socks and booties (there is bound to be salt when we land on those roads and rooftops) and I think it would add an air of levity if we all wore Ugly Christmas Sweaters. I'd even venture to say mom would help sew on pompoms. The antlers should suffice for head protection but how about some goggles?

So that's the situation. I'm putting it out there that I am available and I will continue with my training, but I need a compromise with the clothing. This is not Congress, let's find a way to work together for the better good.

Hi Ho Santa - away!


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